Lyric I m So Wasted

[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"
[M2:] "I m so wasted, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"
[M2:] "Thanks man."
[Joe:] "It s good party, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, it s great man."
[Joe:] "Hey that s some good acid, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, killer man."
[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."
[M2:] "I ve never been higher."
[Joe:] "Oh ho, you must be freaking out."
[M2:] "Acid s great man."
[Joe:] "It s the best."
[M2:] "Everytime I do acid man, I m so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."
[M2:] "This is the best acid, man."
[Joe:] "What are you seein, man?"
[M2:] "Oh, I, that cloud up there, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa"
[M2:] "It s got a vein in it."
[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"
[M2:] "And it s bleeding on me, man."
[Joe:] "It s bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"
[M2:] "Look at my hand, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah?"
[M2:] "It-It s moving, but it s not moving."
[Joe:] "It s not?"
[M2:] "It s still there, but it looks like it s moving."
[Joe:] "Hey, yeah to you it is."
[M2:] "I m so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you must be flipping out."
[M2:] "I m flipping out off it."
[Joe:] "Hallucinations, man."
[M2:] "Acid..right."
[Joe:] "Hey, I got some news fer ya."
[M2:] "I m seeing stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, yer seeing stuff."
[M2:] "RIght."
[Joe:] "Well, that s what happens when you take acid, but you know what?"
[M2:] "What man?"
[Joe:] "Uhhh, that really wasn t acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."
[Silence]

[M2:] "Wha? It s probly this weed I m smokin , man."
[Joe:] "Oh, that weed."
[M2:] "That Thai bud, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything s hilarious."
[Joe: Laughing] "That s funny man. Look at that guy."
[M2: Laughing] "That s funny man."
[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy s hat man."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything s funny to me, man."
[Joe:] "Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke? A few joints, man?"
[M2:] "I had about four."
[Joe:] "Whoa, that s a lot of bones to be smokin , man."
[M2:] "The whole thing s man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you sucked em down yerself."
[M2:] "Ain t that hilarious!?"
[Joe:] "You didn t wanna share, didja?"
[M2:] "It was great stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."
[M2:] "Hey what man?"
[Joe:] "That s the stuff I sold you, right?
[M2:] "Yeah, right."
[Joe:] "Yeah"
[M2:] "It s funny, man."
[Joe:] "Well, well, uh.."
[M2:] "I m wasted off it, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, well that s good. You smoked it, right?"
[M2:] "Right."
[Joe:] "Well that really wans t weed."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "No it wasn t, it was pencil shavings in a bag."
[Silence]

[Joe:] "Yeah."
[M2:] "Well, it s probably this beer.
This beer I m drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa, oh really!?"
[M2:] "I m just..wasted off em."
[Joe:] "That s a lot of beer for a man to drink."
[M2:] "Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."
[Joe:] "You didn t dump em out in the woods, didja?"
[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."
[Joe:] "Right, yeah. I saw you..that s good. Hey didja eat today?"
[M2:]"No, I m on an empty stomach."
[Joe:] "Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."
[M2:] "..And that s why I m so wasted off it man, it s like I m seeing things, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you can hardly stand, man."
[M2:] "You should take my car keys, cuz I can t drive, man."
[Joe:] "Right, right."
[M2:] "I can barely walk."
[Joe:] "Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they re half shut."
[M2:] "There s two of you, man. I can t see anymore, man, I m blind!"
[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beers, huh? I m the man, right?"
[M2:] "Yeah, you are the man."
[Joe:] "Say it. Say I m the man."
[M2:] "Yer da man!!"
[Joe:] "Okay, well that beer.."
[M2:] "Yeah?"
[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..again, I m gonna have to bust you on this one.
You re lying."
[Silence]

[M2: Mumbling] "I ll be right back."
[Joe:] "Ok, buddy, you go sober up."
[Walking different directions, gun goes off]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!"
[Runs over]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy."
[M2:] "Yeah, I m dead, man."
[Joe:] "Oh my, oh yer dead."
[M2:] "Yeah, I m dead, man."
[Joe:] "That is awefull."
[M2:] "There s a big white light and everything, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah! Well you showed us all, man."
[M2:] "Oh man, I m so peaceful here man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you see anything weird, or.."
[M2:] "My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather s there and.."
[Joe:] "Ooooh, I remember him, he s a good guy."
[M2:] "He s still wearing the same clothes, and.."
[Joe:] "Hey, say hello fer me, huh?"
[M2:] "Hey man, Joe says hi, man."
[Joe: Chuckling] "Right."
[M2:] "It s yeah..My uncle s here and..."
[Joe:] "Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This is so funny."
[M2:] "Yeah? What, man?"
[Joe:] "Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven.
The gun, you killed yerself with, that s the one I sold you, right?"
[M2:] "Yeah."
[Joe:] "Yeah, well that was a cap gun.
So, there s no way you could have killed yourself."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "Yeah, that s right, ok.. I m going back to the party. Ok, take care."
[Walks back]

[M2: Whimpering and crying] "I m moving to a different town man."

[Four weeks later]

[Pouring drink]
[M2:] "Oh this beer is great, man.
This tequila is really strong, man.
It s got a worm, and everything in it, man."
[Buffoon:] "Fuckin shit!"
[M2:] "All being in the sun, you re even more wasted.
Fuckin shit is right, man!
I am totally wasted now, man.
I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade."
[Buffoon:] "I know a guy who can suck his own dick."
[M2:] "Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too.
He s the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two cases of Southern Comfort, man.
We were so wasted off it.
I m serious man."