Lyric Dreaming Of Throwing Up

So I m looking at this bottle, and this bottle, it speaks to me.
It says get off the fucking train, so I jumped down.
These metaphors are for assholes, and I m not different.
I ll get to what I mean, but slowly.
Roses and poetry; that s all you want to be?
It s not alive, and not dead. It s looking for a reason to be.
Not alive, and not dead.
You give me goals impossible and I get further from my own.
If these were lies then I wouldn t be leaving. You had to need me.
I tried this once before. It s just as insulting. What for?
It s not alive, and not dead. Looking for a reason to be?
Can we find a balance, a medium?
My anger was a heavy weight you bore.
Now I m balancing meteors. I want to see you.
But not alive, and not dead. Show me what you used to be.
I was looking at this bottle and the words made sense to me,
because it was all a fucking dream.
A lie.
I m not alive, and Iím not dead.
I just see my goals are impossible and I get further from them all.
These mocking words. We buried both.
What a world without you holds, I had to know.