Lyric Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

I saw it advertised one day,
Bear mountain picnic was comin my way.
"come along n take a trip,
We ll bring you up there on a ship.
Bring the wife and kids
Bring the whole family."
Yippee!

Well, i run right down n bought a ticket
To this bear mountain picnic.
But little did i realize
I was in for a picnic surprise.
Had nothin to do with mountains.
I didn t even come close to a bear.

Took the wife n kids down to the pier,
Six thousand people there,
Everybody had ticket for the trip.
"oh well." i said, "it s a pretty big ship.
Besides, anyway, the more the merrier."

Well, we all got on n what d ya think,
That big old boat started t sink
More people kept a-pilin on,
That old ship was a-slowly goin down.
Funny way t start a picnic.

Well, i soon lost track of m kids n wife,
So many people there i never saw in m life
That old ship sinkin down in the water,
Six thousand people tryin t kill each other,
Dogs a-barkin , cats a-meowin ,
Women screamin , fists a-flyin , babies cryin ,
Cops a-comin , me a-runnin .
Maybe we just better call off the picnic.

I got shoved down n pushed around,
All i could hear there was a screamin sound,
Don t remember one thing more,
Just remember walkin up on a little shore,
Head busted, stomach cracked,
Feet splintered, i was bald, naked. . .
Quite lucky to be alive though.

Feelin like i climbed outa m casket,
I grabbed back hold of m picnic basket.
Took the wife n kids n started home,
Wishin i d never got up that morn.

Now, i don t care just what you do,
If you wanta have a picnic, that s up t you.
But don t tell me about it, i don t wanta hear it,
cause, see, i just lost all m picnic spirit.
Stay in m kitchen, have m own picnic. . .
In the bathroom.

Now, it don t seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f r money.
There s a bran new gimmick every day
Just t take somebody s money away.
I think we oughta take some o these people
And put em on a boat, send em up to bear mountain . . .
For a picnic.