Lyric Talkin John Birch Paranoid Blues

Well, i was feelin sad and feelin blue,
I didn t know what in the world i was gonna do,
Them communists they wus comin around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn t gimme no peace. . .

So i run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the john birch society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin down the road.
Yee-hoo, i m a real john bircher now!
Look out you commies!

Now we all agree with hitlers views,
Although he killed six million jews.
It don t matter too much that he was a fascist,
At least you can t say he was a communist!
That s to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.

Well, i wus lookin everywhere for them gol-darned reds.
I got up in the mornin n looked under my bed,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn t find em . . .

I wus lookin high an low for them reds everywhere,
I wus lookin in the sink an underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .

Well, i wus sittin home alone an started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my t.v. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin right up in the brain.
Them reds caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

Well, i quit my job so i could work alone,
Then i changed my name to sherlock holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the american flag!
That ol betty ross . . .

Well, i investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that i knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow birchers . . . just like me.

Now eisenhower, he s a russian spy,
Lincoln, jefferson and that roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there s just one man
That s really a true american: george lincoln rockwell.
I know for a fact he hates commies cus he picketed the movie exodus.

Well, i fin ly started thinkin straight
When i run outa things to investigate.
Couldn t imagine doin anything else,
So now i m sittin home investigatin myself!
Hope i don t find out anything . . . hmm, great god!