Lyric Army

well i thought about the army
dad said, son you re fucking high
and i thought, yeah there s a first for everything
so i took my old man s advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead

grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at chic-fil-a
citing artistic differences
the band broke up in may
and in june reformed without me
and they d got a different name
i nuked another grandma s apple pie
and hung my head in shame

i ve been thinking a lot today
i ve been thinking a lot today

oh, i think i ll write a screenplay
oh, i think i ll take it to LA
oh, i think i ll get it done yesterday

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
i say to my reflection
god, please spare me more rejection
cause my peers, they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels

i ve been thinking a lot today
i ve been thinking a lot today
i ve been thinking a lot today
i thought about the army...