Lyric This Hotel Room

By: Steve Goodman
1975
Uh this hotel room s gotta lotta stuff
Laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth
Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone
Well a light that comes on when I ain t home

I ain t home
I ain t home
You better leave a message cause
I ain t home

They got an air conditioner for when I m hot
A radiator for when I m not
Two big chairs sittin side by side
With a holy bible and the TV Guide

TV Guide
The TV Guide
Great God Almighty
It s the TV Guide

I gotta second story view from curb to curb
I gotta sign that reads "Do Not Disturb"
A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice
A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies

Mirror that lies
A mirror that lies
That couldn t be me
In the gorilla disguise

They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and an aluminum sink
Two big pillows to rest my head
A Magic Fingers and a king-size bed

Put in a quarter
Turn out the light
Magic Fingers makes ya feel alright

Uh feel alright
Feel alright
Magic Fingers makes you feel alright

Uh this ol hotel s all right with me
They pay the postage if you lose the key
This hotel room s gotta lot of stuff
But I do believe I ve had enough

Called my baby said don t you pout
I m packin my bags and I m checkin out
Just as soon as you hang up the telephone
Stick a candle in the window I m comin home

Comin home
Uh comin home
Stick a candle in the window
I m comin home

Whoa comin home
Comin home
Stick a candle in the window
I m comin home

-- Spoken: "Thank you boys"