Lyric 1-900-L.L. Cool J

[phone rings twice]
Yo.. "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?"
Yeah whassup? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?"
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I don t smoke crack so I won t lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I m straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with Shake n Bake
I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake
How much money can one black man make? Huh
I m what s known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, I m not a biter
Can t compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
cause you re bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes ain t slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my [phone rings]
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I m like Sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
cause I ma start dismissin
sucker MC s who s out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn t loyal
Now it s all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
I ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

[phone rings]
Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?"
Yeah whassup? "Can you tell me what you do when you re coolin out?"
Yo check this out

Now when I m coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
"Can LL {*censored*}?" Man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You re full of preservatives -- plus,
you re too conservative
I m full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
There s no competition, for this here
So don t waste your time and breath
I m givin you all a big F
MC s I envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I m asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don t want no static
Anyway, I ain t havin it!
When I see the microphone -- I m grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
LL XL, Xtra-Large
KnowhatI msayin? Peace

[phone rings three times]
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo HYPED up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya