Lyric Penis Song (The Not Noel Coward Song)

GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE S A LITTLE NUMBER I TOSSED OFF
RECENTLY IN THE CARIBBEAN.       

Isn t it awfully nice to have a penis,
Isn t it frightfully good to have a dong.
It s swell to have a stiffy,
It s divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world s biggest prick.

So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.
Your piece of pork,
Your wife s best friend,
Your Percy or your cock.

You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
But don t take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won t come back.