Lyric Jezebel

To think of my task is chilling. To know I was carefully building the
mask I was wearing for two years, swearing I d tear it off. I ve sat
in
the dark explaining to myself that I m straining too hard for feelings
I
ought to find easily. Called myself Jezebel. I don t believe.
Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart.
Family is family, don t let this tear us apart.
You lie there, an innocent baby. I feel like the thief who is raiding
your home, entering and breaking and taking in every room. I know your
feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow. But I m
a
shadow, I m only a bed of blackened coal. Call myself Jezebel for
wanting
to leave.
I m not saying I m replacing love for some other word to describe the
sacred tie that bound me to you. I m just saying we ve mistaken one
for
thousands of words. And for that mistake, I ve caused you such pain
that I
damn that word. I ve no more ways to hide that I m a desolate and
empty,
hollow place inside.
I m not saying I m replacing love for some other word to describe the
sacred tie that bound me to you. I m not saying love s a plaything.
No,
it s a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you.
How
I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife, to weave our
lives
into a blindfold over both our eyes.